Monday, July 29, 2013

In this Way, the Right Side Wins

I'm having a battle between my subconscious and my logic, friends. For this, let me shed some light on how the subconscious can very easily triumph over every inch of the left side of your brain.

I'm struggling with a nightmare I had in the month of September, 2012.

In the month of September 2012, one of my dearest friends passed away.

It was expected unexpectedly. She always told me she never saw herself living past 21. Well, she made it. By a week. It was her heart. It was too big. They replaced it, but the original is always better.

I had a recurring nightmare after her death. It was just us, her and me, in a stark white place, so much like a hospital where she spent so much time. But there was red. And there was blood on my chest. It was not mine. It was her’s. It was spilling from the scar that began at her chest and extended below her belly button. I snapped my hands out to her chest, pressing, trying to make the flow stop. My hands were not big enough to cover all of her scar. I could not stop the blood or the pain. I was trying to take her blood. I was trying to take her pain. But she was dying. And as the blood leaked from her body, as did the blue in her eyes, soon to be nothing but white irises with black holes that no longer refracted light.

She reached at my chest, scarless and dimpled. Desparate, her shaking hands spread her blood over my chest. Sapphires to pearls, her eyes were no longer her’s. A phantom of her soul rose above her body. Screaming, it passed through my chest. I gasped and stumbled to my knees which landed on the ground with a loud crack. I looked at my hands, and they had turned red. My chest was bare though, with no more blood.

Just a scar that extended from my cleavage to below my belly button.

I find myself remembering this dream tonight. I find myself trapped in it's meaning. I wanted to help her, but this was something I could not help her with. And I feel guilty. Possibly, the most guilty I will ever feel in my lifetime. And I find myself...still not able to let this go.

Could I have ever saved my friend from this terrible situation? No.

Should I feel guilty for not being able to take her place? No.

Here is the secret, folks. When it comes to emotions, from the deepest seeded sorrows to the highest ecstasy you could ever imagine, logic contributes nothing.

Friday, July 26, 2013

A Bull Was Skinning Me...

Last night, I had a dream that a bull (horns, stylish septum piercing, the works) was skinning me alive. Not by mauling me with its horns, but by sitting in a stool with a potato peeler in hand, skinning me.

Seriously, what the hell?

I've been having a lot of dreams about getting skinned/losing my skin/ changing my skin in some way. Anywhere from turning a stunning shade of deep purple to getting a tattoo of the American flag where strips of my skin hang off to represent the stripes. To me, this interpretation is obvious. I'm changing, and maybe I'm changing in a way that my subconscious dejects. It is warning me that whatever changes I am going through may by agree with who I am/have become.

Now I must figure out if it is worth it.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Dreaming of the Four Elements

Water, Earth, Air, and Fire.

These are the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little planet. But! The big guy in the sky accidentally added another ingredient to the concoction...Chemical Humanity.

And, there is your 90's throwback for the day.

But really, what do each of the elements mean when they are present in your dreams? And no, Metal, Shadow, Light, Time, Space, these are NOT elements, people. I'm talking about the traditional materials that created the world.


Calm water is associated with renewal, regeneration, and purification. Turbulent water is associated with emotional discomfort.

In terms of dreams, water symbolizes how emotions are affecting your life. If you are drowning, your emotions are overwhelming and bringing you down. If you are swimming or overcome the water somehow, this means your emotions are under your control. Emotions can be connected to anything that has a connection to water: sea animals, sinks, bathtubs, the subconscious is very creative.


Earth can be connected to actions. Okay, as simple as it sounds, Earth grounds you. Earth reminds us that we are mortal. We can die. In fact, we will die. 

If your dream takes place on the ground, no matter what the content of the dream, it is usually has familiar topics and thoughts behind it. If anything that can be connected to Earth (trees, groundhogs, etc.) appears in your dreams, it may mean that you feel uncertain (or too certain) about an aspect of your life.


Air symbolizes inspiration and intelligence. In a sense, air is water's antithesis. It refers to the logical side of life. Instead of emotions, air gets its power in thoughts.

So, if there is a tornado in your dreams, it most likely means you're thinking too much about something. But do not limit yourself to thinking that only the physical element of air symbolizes thoughts, also think of things that connect to it (birds, insects, planes, falling leaves).


Last of all, we have Fire. As many of you probably know, Fire is associated with passion and impulse. This is the most primitive of the four elements. It also relates to the type of energy your feel in life.

When you see fire in your dreams, it may mean that you have much energy, or no energy at all for a certain subject or idea. Remember, Fire is a powerful element. While it is absolutely necessary for survival, when it is out of control, you won't survive.

Interpreting anything in a dream is very very circumstantial. When interpreting a dream, you should take into consideration the images, ideas, and emotions within the dream to try to determine what it means. Usually, all of the elements are present in one dream, but there are times where one element is much more prevalent than others. Those are the dreams when you should incorporate these meanings.